Just because he is about to be President of the Philippines should not get in the head of Davao City Mayor Rodrigo Duterte.
Of late, he has shown he could do his worse and appeared to have condoned bribery which is anathema to his deep-seated hatred for cheats.
Nay, he himself did the bribing.
Recently, he bamboozled his way to freedom from extreme anger of Roman Catholics for dishing out “putang-ina!” (sonofabitch) directed at Pope Francis, by bribing the Catholic Church with an apology and P1,000 fine he would pay every time he swears.
As events played out, Pope Francis was hit by the “putang-ina” during Duterte’s proclamation speech in Manila as standard bearer of the Partido Demokratiko Pilipino (PDP) in the 2016 presidential race.
Duterte, who was crucified by Catholic priests and laymen and foes and friends alike for cursing the Pope, wiggled himself out of the quagmire by apologizing to the Pope and the predominantly Catholic public.
He said his speech was erroneously read as a verbal assault against the Pope when in fact it targeted the bumbling Aquino government’s failure at resolving MetroManila’s traffic woes.
His “putang-ina” was fired at the monstrous traffic jams at the time of Pope Francis’ Manila visit, he said to calm down the storm.
With the tsunami of attacks from papal fans fading, Duterte would further stretch his luck at religious absolution by meeting with Davao Catholic Church leaders led by Arhbishop Romulo Valles.
Other than apologizing for having made Pope Francis a collateral victim of his “putang-ina” directed at the Aquino administration, Duterte promised he would now be a good boy and avoid cussing.
And without saying a single “putang-ina,” Duterte, who we know hates being lectured by other people, agonizingly listened to the Archbishop’s 2-hour lecture on Christian values, promised to lead a life of good manners and right conduct and as a bonus vowed to tone down the habit and to pay a P1,000 fine if he becomes a recidivist and returns to dishing out dirty fucking words.
Bribery that comes in whatever form and manner is cheating. To our mind, Duterte bribed his way to redemption with that promise to pay fine for swearing.
Duterte is creating a precedent that could depopulate Hell. He is sacrilegiously treading into the spiritual domain and devilishly teaching people to simply pay fine for their sins.
We were told when we were young by priests and parents that swearing or cursing is a grievous sin that could send one to Hell. Duterte was kicked out from Ateneo so he could not have heard the Jesuit priests terrorizing students about being burned in hell if they swear.
With Duterte earning salvation by bribing God’s minions on earth with a fine, what will stop the “putang-inang” grafters and thieves and cheats of this damned earth invoking the Duterte stunt to bribe off Catholic Bishop Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) president Bishop Soc Villegas with fine for whatever sin they commit so they can escape Hell?
Janet Napoles and Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada, Bong Revilla and other legislators involved in the multi-billion peso PDAF scam, President Benigno Aquino and his budget secretary Butch Abad and former interior secretary Mar Roxas and their cohorts in the DAP scandal, including smugglers and tax cheats could now be cheering Duterte for his formula of salvation from the fires of Hell.
To save their souls from being fried in the crematory of Hell, the cheats and the thieves may now invoke the Duterte stunt, pay fine and put closure to their misdeeds at least before God and his minions on earth.
Having himself did that and for the sake of fairness, Duterte as President of the Philippines and as the Lord God’s enforcer of divine laws on earth, could aimply command Napoles, et al: Mga putang-ina kayo! Save your souls you goddamned thieves! Go to Villegas and pay your fine! Pesteng dyawa!
But back to Duterte and his “putang-ina.”
Duterte’s “putang-inas” are okay with us given our suspicion that the F-word was the first word Duterte uttered when he was born into this earth. You can’t expect a congenital malady to be cured so there is no way to rein in the Duterte mouth to stop spewing out invectives day in and day out. And doctors would say holding one’s temper with the tension not spewed out of the mouth could be dangerous to the health. The pent up unreleased anger or irritation could lead your blood pressure to a boil and cause heart disease. At it’s worse, the anger could result to an abdominal upheaval, cook up farth of the foulest kind in the stomach and you create a public scandal when you let the air out in a people-crowded environment.
Duterte’s swearing, and his dirty fingers, may turn off other people but he is a BisDak (Bisayang Dako) or true-blue Bisaya. The BisDaks of the Visayas region have an armory of vulgar expletives in their dictionary of swear words. “Putang-ina” of the Cebuanos (Duterte is from Cebu), in fact is a tamer version. The Karay-a, Hiligaynon and Ilonggos of Panay and Negros spew out “iyodipuga!” (Fuck the bitch!) like it were the Amen at the end of the Lord’s Prayer. “Dyawa!” (Dam you devil!) is a natural in the lingua franca of the Bol-anon. The Warays of Samar and Leyte are also born swearers with a long list of invectives that could hit you with the ferocity of super typhoon Yolanda.
So why fault Digong when he says “putang-ina”?
The fact is the BisDaks are born swearers, and, believe you me, BisDak children spew out “ pesteng yawa, putang-ina” before they learn to say “mama.” The older BisDaks vomit the same invectives before they could even drink their morning coffee.
We may worry about Duterte paying off his swearing with fine becoming a precedent for others to follow.
But we are not worried about Duterte and his “putang-ina.”
What we are also worried about is that Duterte bulldozing himself with that promised fine to gain forgiveness and salvation may be a tall tale.
If he can wiggle out of a public insult hurled at Pope Francis who is the head of the Catholic Church, he can tell Archbishop Valles “putang-ina ka Valles, I fooled you when I said I will pay the fine!”
Because there are no set and clear rules that would bind Duterte to shell out the fine to Caritas, the welfare agency of the Catholic Church.