By ROGER BALANZA
This funny man Ely Pamatong should be charged with frustrated murder for pushing Dabawenyos to the brink of death with uncontrolled laughter with his jokes. Pamatong is at it again and has tickled anew the funny bones of the Dabawenyos with the news that he has filed a libel case against Davao City Vice Mayor Rodrigo Duterte for calling him crazy.
Of course Dabawenyos knew that Pamatong, also known as Spikey Ely, is only out to seek media attention, a narcissistic habit that dates back to the time when he first made his appearance in Davao City in the late 80s.
To be sure, Pamatong has the ability to lure media attention with his wild ideas that are “weird and crazy,” if we allow Duterte to describe them which earned for him a libel rap from Pamatong.
Pamatong’s latest caper, forming a Republic of Mindanesia for Christians out of Mindanao and some parts of the Visayas, is an idea that comes straight out of that old building along J.P. laurel Avenue in Davao City. (It’s the Davao Mental Hospital, for the clueless).
He has also filed a libel case against us after we reported on his latest caper, which should teach us a lesson to limit our reporting on the normal and not engage in discussion about people with ideas that come straight out of that old building along J. P. Laurel Avenue.
For the unfamiliar, that building is located in an old compound along J. P. Laurel Avenue where Pamatong could be president. If the one-eyed could be king in an island of the blind, Pamatong could be president of the Republic of Mindanesia in that compound.
We have known Amatong for long, although we are not acquaintances; we met each other in his press conferences in the past where we listened to his crazy ideas and wrote about them.
In the late 80s, he had hitched up with Edmundo Enrile Pamintuan aka Kumander Lahi, at the tail end of the Alsa Masa craze, to sell amulets, magic coconut oil and borloloys said to make holders invulnerable to bullets sold to anti-communist Itumans, Putians, Pulahans and other tribal groupings who saw red in the New Peoples Army.
Kumander Lahi would die in the early 90s under mysterious circumstances followed by Pamatong taking over as head of Kumander Lahi’s anti-communist and rabidly pro-American ADAMIC group, which wanted the Philippines to be a US state.
Shades of that link to the tribal anti-communist natives can still be seen today in Pamatong,
When he filed the libel cases against Duterte and us last week, he had for attire a tubao, scarf and shirt of native weave which reminded us of our friend openly gay Id Acaylar, former Davao City hall tourism chair, who had recently resigned his post as tourism consultant of Davao Oriental Governor Corazon Malanyanon following a brutal battle over the presidency of the Davao Oriental chapter of the KBP (Kapisanan ng mga Bayot sa Pilipinas) with Raul Antopuesto of DXGO, who rules Cora’s province his bailiwick.
Reports say Pamatong passed the US Bar Exams with a near perfect score, which should put us to shame. We earned our law degree at the Law School of Taipan University of Jaime Ang along Anda St. under the respected law dean the late professor Onofre Francisco, former Davao City government legal officer, with a grade of 24 bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen every day.
Establishing a Christian state out of Mindanao pales in comparison to Pamatong’s old capers that drew wide media coverage.
In the past, he filed a complaint in Manila accusing Pope Benedict XVI and Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Cardinal Rosales of human rights violations for alleged disturbance of public order, swindling and teaching immoral doctrines.
His beef? The Pope and Rosales “have been arrogantly, oppressively and offensively mounting loudspeakers on church rooftops, towers, belfries and trees that are blaring with monotonous false dogmas and doctrines.”
In his complaint, Pamatong wants the court to rule that those who will not respect the rights of non-Catholics to live in peace “be deported to the Vatican and forever barred from entering the country.”